It's A Pirates Life For Me

Captain's Log:

In the year of Ox
27 days into Febrero
Last friday night in my hometown as a resident:


We set sail at 30 past the 18th hour to our destination.
Jason loads me and my first mate G. with enough supplies to pilage the fortress of our enemies.

Our blokes Drew and Oli had been captured to do the evilest of slave work for at Rays Barcade by the slimey bitch only known as Eli the Slimey Bitch of The Crew. (He's such a slimey bitch)

Onward mate:

This mission could only be completed with the prowless of the one we call J. --- A deeply disturbed pirate indeed.

Onward mates:

The filthiest of rathskellers this place was.

Weak rum, see through beer and samples made for children with sore throats.

The wenches there were strung to balls and chains.

Cocky minute men crowding the tables and scoffing at our presence.

We offered the protection of a million though we were three.

Once our blokes were safe we shipped them off the shore of the captive isle in their barge with there stock well protected.

As we parted back to our watering hole, the scally wags known as the G.P.D. were trying to test us with their distance. Trying to prove that we were in their waters. But we trekked on, screaming over the sides of our boat:

"Now I`m aimin' for heaven

But probably wind up down in hell

Where upon this altar

I will hang my guilt ridden head

But it`s time I`ll take before I begin

Three sheets to the wind, Three sheets to the wind

Rebels are we, though heavy our hearts shall always be

Ah, no ball or chain no prison shall keep

We`re the rebels of the sacred heart

I said no ball or chain no prison shall keep

We`re the rebels of the sacred heart"

We entered the grail known as Patrick's and Leo announced, "The Rebels are here!! They have returned!!" Chase, also known as 'The Giver of Head' was trying too hard and Dennis known as 'The One Who Makes Em Wet" had to mace him.

"PINT HERE", G. shouted...

and a minute later he said, "Another one. Here here! Another Pint!!"

And I tasted the fire. 151 degrees down my throat.

ARRRRGGHH!!!!

And Greg came in, excited by the stories he had heard of our victory over the Barcade and The Crew.... and Eli the Slimey Bitch.

"Car Bombs for the 2 greatest Thieves in the Land! Nay! Car Bombs for everyone!" he declared.

Pints and shots and cloves and pints.

I was stealing their wet and G. was stealing their women..... ARRRRRGGGGH!!!!!

We set sail for home with our hearts on our sleeves, victorious over the night!

And we screamed over the sides of the boat:

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced

I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown in the trousers

she kissed me...and I only bought her one round

"If I Don't Use It To Torture Myself, It Isn't Worth It"

________________________________________________

Last Day At Work:

today’s been a career day, futures made and fortunes lost

as I’m standing in the lobby,I’m waiting for the elevator to take me away
up to nine or ten, maybe eleventh. sound of sirens fading as she whispers in my ear
she’s saying, its too late to wish success so get undressed and
please just come to bed cause I’m the last real thing you’ve got

you’re cursed by all ambitious thoughts. is that all you’ve got?
as for you,you spin a story like a spider spins a web

see that’s a metaphor, no wait, a simile

I’m still learning but I think I’m getting better
oh if I’m not tortured how are you ever going to relate
I’ve been condemned by those I love,
wishing me the worst as I’m trying my best
but she’s the last real thing I’ve got
I’m cursed by all ambitious thoughts
is that all you’ve got
love close your eyes and cover, cover your ears,
for the end is near but the beginning is here

in with the outro and out with the old
I’m gonna tie all the loose ends i once pulled
in with the outro and out with the old,
preparing for failure, from what we've been told
in with the outro and out with the old
with nothing to offer, so nothings been sold
in with the outro and out with the old
forgive me and give me one more chance to fold
in with the outro and out with the old
there's nothing to lose when there's nothing to hold
we'll be together in the morning
______________________________________________________

My New Bye

Goodbye. GOOD-bye.
Lately my bye's haven't felt good.
Well.... is any goodbye GOOD?
Maybe like... "Hey cancer, good bye!"

But when delivered to those you love.... good bye is obsolete.
But I would never say.... "hey, bad bye."
I have had some BAD bye's, but I don't think I've ever said it.
But disagree with me that more bye's are bad than good.
I am leaving the dungeon that has held me for so long. GOOD BYE!
I am leaving friends whom I love. BAD BYE!


I had a lot of bad bye's today. It breaks my heart.
But the good bye's are weighing out the bad bye's.

But to YOU! Bad bye..... ::tears::
_____________________________________________

Handle With Care

Why, when moving do we put FRAGILE on some boxes and not on others.
Is that stuff more important than others.
Sure, maybe more expensive..... but isn't it just as important?
If not.... why do you have it?

I don't want to mark anything I have as fragile.
Note to friends: Carry everything with care. Everything I own is important.

Everything that others have is important to them as well.
Handle as such.

Not just the boxes.
But their lives too.
Everybody is important at least to themselves.
Or they are fragile.

Handle with care.