My Regards To Repentence

The word “repentance” is metanoia in the Greek, which means to change one’s mind. For example, you used to believe that Jesus was just a good man. Then one day, you repented and believed that He is the Son of the living God, who died for your sins and rose again on the third day, and you gladly took Him as your Savior.

I read this earlier and it continues to blow me away.
To understand that the work is done and that there is nothing I can do about it.

It pains me to no end to hear “Christians” and “believers” saying things like, “I feel bad about myself today….” or “I need to repent today….”
It’s similar to the whole, “I lost my salvation” line.
You didn’t lose your salvation. You felt like bitching out on your faith because you were mad at where YOUR decisions had taken you.
When some says they lost their salvation, I say, “Oh, here I found it. It was sitting here in my pocket right under your pride. Get bent!”

People who claim to be followers of the way and yet live lives of turmoil, unforgiveness, and guilt are not really ‘believers’. They want to believe, but they have not yet repented.

The word of God says, “If you try to be made right with God through the law, your life with Christ is over—you have left God's grace.” (Gal. 5:4)

Note, it doesn’t say that you leave God’s grace because you sin or because you don’t repent. It says you leave His grace (fall from Grace-NIV) because you try to mix law into your belief system. To be right with God is to believe in the Son. Anything apart from that is work. Work is law. And if you wanna go that route, well, stop saying you believe in Christ.

It amazes me how we were all lied to. Being told every week, “You need to get right with God! Repent!”
When, essentially, we were made to be the bride of Christ when we repented (changed mental direction). That bond is safe and secure. For those who are married, imagine if you had to get re-married every time you messed up? It would be quite costly every week, don’t you think? And how long would your spouse put up with you if every week you said, “Honey, we fought over the remote this week so we gotta get married again. We need to renew our vows cos I just don’t feel like the ones we made are valid anymore.”

Better yet. For those who are not married. Realize your faith to being a child of God. Now, think of how you were as a child with your parents. Can you imagine your mom saying, “Alright, crawl back in my vagina and be reborn. You are no child of mine unless I re-birth you. I just don’t feel like you are my child anymore since you spilled that milk.”

I realize some have had shitty marriages and/or childhoods, but do you get what I am saying here? Once we became the bride of Christ/children of God, that bond became safe and secure. If you note the scripture above it says, “You have left God’s grace” not the other way around. God doesn’t leave you, nor will he forsake you. Sound familiar?

So just like a marriage or even the act of being someone’s child. The only way to stop being in the relationship is for YOU to make a conscious decision to walk away. It’s when you say, I am out of here. You make the choice. So you don’t lose salvation. You walk away from it. You make a decision to cut ties with the very thing that gives you life.

So then I have heard people say, “Yeah, but you can sin so much that you just stop believing in Jesus and then that’s how you lose your faith.”
No, no! What does the word of God say?

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep. No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:35-39)

So that argument is out.
And then what of sin? I mean, I still mess up. I still do things I shouldn’t do. Look at things I shouldn’t see. Speak things I shouldn’t say. Listen to things I shouldn’t hear….
Well, first understand what sin is.

Yes, word of God….
“When he (The Holy Spirit/Comforter) comes, he'll expose the error of the godless world's view of sin, righteousness, and judgment: He'll show them that their refusal to believe in me is their basic sin; that righteousness comes from above, where I am with the Father, out of their sight and control; that judgment takes place as the ruler of this godless world is brought to trial and convicted.” (John 16:8-11)

So we MUST understand this. Sin is not the act of doing ‘bad things’. Sin is the act of not believing in Christ and what he did. Sin is acts that contradict our belief system in Christ and what he did. Sin is us saying we are ‘christians’ yet running to God to repent. If we truly believed in God we wouldn’t repent of sins in the manner we do.

Example: “Jesus, please forgive me for gratifying myself to those images on the computer earlier. I know it was wrong and I still did it. Please forgive my sins.”

That prayer is breaking the validity of what Christ did at the cross. You are saying, ‘God, forgive me for doing that. I do not believe that your son’s blood was sufficient for that particular sin. So please forgive me.”
Understand that your sins are forgiven. Yesterday’s, today’s and the one’s you will commit in the future. That’s why the word, YES THE WORD, says “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.” His work at the cross was the final sacrifice. That’s why when he gave up his spirit he said, “It is FINISHED!”

So, when your spirit feels bad for something you are doing, going to do, or have done. Reference the word of God.
“… if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins…“ (1John 2:1-2)
How awesome is that. You “sin” and Jesus is like, “It’s cool, I got this covered.”

But David, I still feel the need to pray and get it off my chest.
Me too!
I am just saying, change your tongue.

Example: “God, I thank you for your son Jesus. I thank you for His work at the cross. Because of him, I am righteous in your eyes. Jesus, I am sorry if I acted in any way that would have shown a disbelief in you. But I bless you and your father because you are both faithful and you do not lie!”

And this inevitably leads to the discussion of….
“Well David, if this is true, then I guess we all have a credit card to do whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want!”
No No No!

Word of God: “So what should we do? Should we sin because we are under grace and not under law? No! Surely you know that when you give yourselves like slaves to obey someone, then you are really slaves of that person. The person you obey is your master. You can follow sin, which brings spiritual death, or you can obey God, which makes you right with him.” (Rom 6:15,16)

So you see, as you begin to understand grace, what it covers and how awesome it is, you will fall more and more in love with the God who made it available. You will want to honor the man named Jesus who took the fall for us all. And you won’t “try to be good” to earn righteousness or be holy. You will just flat out be a better person because as you recognize love, love overcomes you and it becomes your master. Suddenly, all “those things” you think are sin become revealed. They are not sin. And God is not damning you because you do them. They are merely road blocks, and they are only slowing down God’s love from reaching you. They are only bringing a self guilt that makes things so muddy that we feel separated from his love. And his love overwhelms us to show us that “those things” aren’t worth the guilt they bring.

I assure you. When you truly repent. Truly experience metanoia. Literally, put it to action in metamorphisis. Your repentance. Your change of direction. Your change of mind begins to set you free of your religion and your shortcomings. You begin to understand Love and you begin to crave it. Suddenly, the “evil” you do seems less desirable. And even when you succumb to the temptations of your flesh, you don’t let it ruin your day, your week, or your life. You simply keep walking, knowing that Christ has already paid the price and that nothing can separate you from his Love. When you walk in his grace you understand that when you “mess up” the only thing that suffers is your emotions. You are still Christ’s Bride. You are still God’s Child.

I’m just sayin…

This Letter Brought To You By A Falling Bomb

Tuesday October 6, 2009

David L. Herrera

El Llano

Las Vegas, New Mexico

The States








To The Father of Lights:






Good morning or day or whatever it is you got going up there.
I was just inbetween dreams and had a few questions that have been haunting me all night... again.

Um....where to begin?

What's the difference between self righteousness and martyrdom?
I say it's the size of your ass hole.

Am I self-righteous? ----No
Am I a martyr? ---------No
Can I look in the mirror and answer that shit?-------NO!

Problem is, I don't know why.


Seems like the more I try and put my faith in you to use, the bigger ass hole I feel like.

People don't want it. It's too hard and you have to wait to long.
Maybe we all would much rather 'work' for it.

Me + This = My Result

And that's tangible.



And I think about Jesus. Your son. This guy who supposedly died for us. Not just for the sins.... my god the sins. But also for our health. And in there is where the problem lies. I believe like this and she believes like that. She thinks she's right, I know I am right. So what the fuck to do.

And in my evil (G. say Eee-ville) blood flow I chuckle to myself and bite my lip hard to keep from saying. "Wow, sounds like that medicine is doing its job." But truly it is. Medicine does what it's supposed to do always. It makes us forget about the pain temporarily unitl our immune systems do what they were designed to do anyways. It also helps You out, right? I mean, I know it probably takes hours, even days, for you to whip up the magical potion's you made for Jesus in his time to heal the sick and such. And nowadays I bet you gotta make all kinds of potions. Because truly, this isn't real life. Jesus was Care Bears man. Forest of Feelings and the whole lot.

But medicene is a drug. And drugs are drugs. I don't have to tell you what they do. And really all medicene is, is a plot from the government to make more and more money. I learned it in High School. The more medicine we take, the worse our systems become at fixing themselves. And so the next time we take more medicine. Until the day when all day every day all we are taking is medicine's and pills just to live. Ha Ha, to live. And then we die younger. And then the government won't have to take care of us anymore. (That's what I learned anyways) But anymore.... who knows what I should believe...

So what the fuck am I bitching about, right? This is just a fairytale, right?
But you bring me to your word, and I say why? What for? What does your word solve?
You say everything. I say, Just to me. You say, No, to all who believe....

Isaiah 53:210
The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him.
He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.
Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.

Well I think that's just all fine and dandy. But what will it take for us to take you at your word?
I thought you had given us the perfect lesson. Inside, I would follow you to death.
Lead my son to the altar for slaughter if you'd say it was the right thing to do.
I thought we were ready. But we're not.

But Sir.... can I just say, Fuck those who don't believe. Seriously. Why should I be held back because others want to be held back. And here I was barefoot ready to dance on the water.

But your words are just words to them anyways.

But not to me. And I won't be punished for the disbelief of others. And if they want to feel bad. Fuck em. Thats between them and you. It's not any fault of mine.

You took me down here to the river. If they wanna die in the valley of dry bones, let em.

And him? What about him?

Yeah, well, thats why I am really here. him. I wanted better for him. But that dream looks faint. Because it will play out like it did last night. Like I watched it all my life. An arguement over faith. Jesus versus Robitussin.

How stupid and what a waste. No, not the fight.... the sickness. Because I see him slowly accepting an illness that doesn't deserve him. I see him sense the fear. And as the devils here the report spread more and more, they begin to speak remedies. Works. Do this, try this, mix this.

Old Wives Tales and silly witchcraft.

So he sits there and slowly feels it over take him.

And that Lord is what kills me.

But even now, what really scares me?

I know you cannot hear our prayers while we are harboring ill feelings towards others.

Thats why I wrote you this letter.

I hope you get it

Sincerely,

Tuesday Morning

colours.

All the needy still need
and all the losers still lose

It's autumn. Fall. They call it fall because all the leaves fall... I guess. Makes sense. It's the most beautiful season of all... right? When the leaves change color and they become orange and purple and yellow and red.

all the preachers still preach
but they ain't bringin no change

Funny how, really, fall is just a season of death. We drive to the mountains and look at all the dying trees. The leaves are changing colors because they are dying. Like people who suffocate turn blue, people who become ill turn yellow. People who flu up turn red. When leaves die, they change colors.... just like us.

I'm not afraid to die
'cause all these colors will change

When we ride our bikes through the leaves, we are desiring to hear the bones of the leaves crushed and their skin torn apart. We pile their bodies and then we bag em up and burn em. Sometimes not until after we have jumped into them to crush them just one more time.

All the low is still low
and all the high still get high
how I wish we could dance
but all these rhythms don't seem to match up

I do not desire to sound dramatic. It's just amazing to me how we as humans find so much beauty in death. And maybe that is why we are all dying. I have only watched one man die. And that was enough to last a lifetime. Mr. Roybal struggled to enter death, or he struggled to let go of life. He was an example to me...

I'm not afraid to die
'cause all these colors will change

Sometimes we are breathing.... but we are only battling between the pain of living or the mystery of being dead. Which one will suck more? Which one will be more confusing? To me though; well, I just don't see what the big deal is.

Bits and bits of cane, burning burning burning
bit by bit away
they grow as people grow
and glow as people glow

Contained in the flesh or free to roam in eternity, my spirit is alive. My being moves and feels and knows. My being awaits the day of freedom and perfection. And while it is restricted to the confines of my flesh, it does not believe like the flesh believes, nor does it feel what the flesh feels. They do not confir with one another. So I have learned to not confir with the flesh either. And I get along just fine.

I'm not afraid to die
'cause all these colors will change

italics = Portugal. The Man

I'm Going Joywriting

Dusting off the bike after a long cold winter.

You pull it out of the shed, jiggle the arms a little, dust off the seat with your hand.
The seat still feels cold. Hard.
The cushion feels more like a rock then a support.
You push it to the sidewalk. Take a gander at the chain.
You squeeze the brake handles.

You don't grease the gears or adjust the spokes.
You don't read a "How To...." book on bike riding.
You don't stretch your legs or go through hand signals in your mind.

You just hop on and you start pedaling.

Because its your bike.
You know how to ride it.
You have been on many a journey together.
Ups and downs.
Breakdowns and Shake-downs.
You battled terrain, weather, and even the occassional drunk riding excursion.
Nonetheless...

Your bike is a part of you.
It makes you feel youthful and it makes you feel free.
No matter how long you have let it sit there intentionally or unintentionally...
You know what you're doing as soon as you hop on.
All those feelings and all those actions come back to you immediately.

Let's Ride....